You go to school one day to watch your first grader interact with the other kids at recess. You no sooner arrive when the bell rings, and you examine a plethora of pent up personalities sprinting out the door towards the playground.
Suddenly you see one group conferrence to play a game of kickball. Captains are fast anointed, and they start selecting sides. After those in the first two or three rounds are chosen you hear an audible “yes, yes, ok,” coming from the group. As the choice process drops into the middle of the pack, “yes, yes, Ok” turns into “toleration.” And as they close in on the lowest of the pack you hear “no, aww, geesh, etc.
Adult Kickball
To Validate or to Invalidate
Depending on when your child is chosen your heart may flitter with a slight pride or sink like a rock along with your wide eyed, innocent first grader as the air is sucked even added out of their already shrinking self image. (1) First graders, (like many adults/teachers) are often pretty clueless when it comes to other kid’s feelings.
Is It Any Wonder Why?
You think about it and comprehend that assorted editions of this same scenario are probably played out over and over again at many different levels (Billy you’re in the Bluebirds, Sally you’re in the Cardinals) throughout the accepted school experience. Kids are pitted against kids and pecking orders are established.
It positively doesn’t take very long for most kids to identify who’s cool, who’s popular, who’s valuable, and who isn’t. Is it any wonder why so many kids get so disenchanted, so fast with what we adults like to call “education?”
Rewind the Film, turn the Scenery
Let’s rewind the film here and turn the scenery. Instead of watching your child interact with other kids at recess, you come and to watch your child interact with other kids in their weekly Pull Your Own Weight session in which the kids are all studying to physically pull their own weight (do pull ups), get strong, and avoid obesity for life. Yes, kids (from 3 to 93) who can do pull ups are never obese.
There are 22 kids in class. It takes each child less than 30 seconds to achieve at least eight leg assisted pull ups. Every child has a point at which he/she can succeed. Every time they grab the height adjustable bar or handles they do one more repetition, or the bar is raised one more inch.
In other words, every time they invest their time, energy, and lay their self worth on the line, they grow a slight stronger, there’s a slight payoff, and they originate tangible reasons to reinvest again, and again, until they can achieve accepted pull ups, until they’ve learned to tackle a difficult challenge (like pull ups), in public, and to succeed!!
Everybody’s Stronger, and Everybody’s a Winner
Not only that but every time they grab the bar (or the handles) and grow a slight bit stronger, they also get congratulations from the teacher, and most importantly they get high fives and pats on the back from the rest of the group. In place of group humiliation described in scenario amount one, kids get group validation.
Winning is all about being a slight stronger/cooler this week than you were last week; a slight stronger/cooler this month than last month, and a lot stronger/cooler than you were last year. Kids are never pitted against other kids, and in this process everyone wins. And what’s wrong with that?
As a Parent, Which Would You Prefer?
Now let me ask you, which one of these two scenarios would you prefer to have your child contact week after week, month after month, all year long? Which one of these scenarios teaches your child what you want them to learn? And which one is an obstacle to education in the best sense. You tell me.
1. Throw a slight racism or sexism into the mix and it fast becomes an even bigger problem.
Validating Or Invalidating Kids starting at a Very Young Age
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